There was a knot in the pit of my stomach. I had sat in numerous counseling offices throughout my life. This time seemed no different. This was probably just another "session" of hopelessness and let downs.

As I sat there, I wondered about the questions this gentleman would probably ask. Would he ask me to recount my childhood? Would he want me to describe my emotions during a panic attack? Would he ask me to dig up those painful memories that I spent years trying to bury? That knot in my stomach was getting bigger.

Over the years, doctors and counselors interrogated me with hundreds of questions. "Tell me more about how you feel," they would ask. Their empty claims of "I understand" quickly lost meaning. I figured I was all alone in this. After all, if doctors and counselors could not explain these episodes of terror, then surely I was losing my mind.

"Russell," the gentleman started, "I know exactly what you are going through. You see, I've had panic attacks for more than forty years." Immediately, this man had my attention. "For most of my life, I couldn't drive anywhere. I couldn't sleep at nights. My world had closed in so much that my life really had no meaning. I was afraid of living, and I was afraid of dying."

Something in me leaped. That pit in my stomach was quickly replaced with anticipation and excitement. I was listening to someone who knew exactly what I was experiencing. Then he continued, "And know this, that after 40 years of panic attacks, I am now completely free."

I sat there astonished. In a matter of minutes, I had gone from total despair to an overwhelming sense of hope. Hope that I could one day be free from this. Hope that I could one day lead a normal, peaceful life.

That day was a new beginning in my life. A seed of hope had been planted in my heart--a seed that God would begin to nurture and grow.

"Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it" (Hebrews 11:1, NCV).

That seed of hope produced faith in me. I was able to look forward to an exciting future, full of peace and confidence. I imagined a future not limited by fear--a future where I could grow and experience life anew.

Do you need hope? Is your heart burdened with thoughts that you will never change? Does peace seem unreachable, distant?

Know today that peace is possible. Freedom is real. No life is too far gone that the God of hope can't touch it. Reach up to him and pray, "Father, take me into your arms. Give me hope. Show me the Light at the end of the tunnel. Show me your peace."

Blessings and Happy Holidays!

Russell

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|  Russell Pond     <><
|  Season of Peace
|  email:  ponder@season.org
|  web:    http://www.season.org

© Russell Pond 1999
Reprinted with permission