Going through my ritual review of emails early one morning, I came across this comment from a gentleman:

"I can think of no bigger faith builder than panic disorder. If that is indeed the case, that our faith is being strengthened by this condition, then it is the biggest blessing we could ask for from God."

I must admit, this not a comfortable statement. To declare panic attacks a 'blessing from God' seems ludicrous. Yet, I must grudgingly confess that my faith is stronger now than it has ever been.

Why? My faith has grown because I am learning to trust God totally, with all my heart. I am growing to trust him more and more each day. When the fear begins to rise up within me, I could pour energy into fighting it, but I've lost that battle too many times. I am learning to trust God and rest during that adrenaline rush. To do that takes faith--faith that God will hold me and keep me safe no matter what happens.

Going to bed at nights is such a struggle for me. Lying there breeds unwanted, fearful thoughts. Most nights when I go to bed, I fight and struggle with these mental intrusions. The other night was no different. I was so tired, yet my mind was racing. I could feel the fear rising up within me. My wife was next to me praying. She knew.

As I lie there ready to leap out of bed, I thought, "I could run and just give into the fear. Or, I could stay here and trust God." Running sounded so good to me. My body was buzzing with adrenaline. My legs and arms were numb with fear. Yet, that still, small voice was encouraging me to be still and trust.

I faintly prayed, "Lord, help me. Help me trust you more." The next thing I know, the alarm went off and it was morning time. I woke to a morning filled with faith and confidence in my Father. He strengthened me and gave me peace, because I trusted him.

Is your struggle with panic a faith builder? Are you being drawn closer to God through your struggles and troubles? What we experience here on earth--no matter what it may be--should draw us closer to our Father. We must not look at the problems and circumstances around us. Rather, we must look to our Father for strength and courage.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

Blessings!

Russell

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|  Russell Pond     <><
|  Season of Peace
|  email:  ponder@season.org
|  web:    http://www.season.org

© Russell Pond 1999
Reprinted with permission