People often write to me saying: "Russell, I just wish I had the faith you had, because then I could beat this anxiety."

I only wish I had the faith that everyone claims I have. The truth is: I still struggle with fear. Anxiety is a dark cloud that still lingers over my mind. Sleepless nights are common. Yes, this battle with fear is not quite over for me.

But, I will also say that I have experienced more peace the past few years than I have my entire life. I am doing things I haven't done in years. I am seeing many of my hopes and dreams blossom to life. Yes, progress is a wonderful thing--even if it is two steps forward and one step back.

Occasionally, people's perception of faith is inaccurate. They see faith as the ability to believe for something. "If I can just believe in God more, then surely I can beat this thing." Or maybe this sounds familiar, "I just don't feel like God will help me. If only I had more faith."

Let me share what I believe faith really is. When fear strikes, everything in me goes into high gear. My mind starts racing. My heart starts pounding. My legs go numb. I can't catch my breath. I am ready to fight or run. This is a natural reaction to fear. When this happens, I don't feel God's presence, nor do I feel his peace. My "faith" is gone, and it seems like God is not real. So how do I respond?

The Bible says that God will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). It also commands me to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and not lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

So even when everything in me says, "RUN!" or "PANIC!", I choose not to respond to those cries of fear. Rather, I choose to trust God--even if nothing makes sense. I choose to respond to God.

Is it easy? No. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Is my faith strong? It sure doesn't feel like it.

You see, faith is not how strong your belief is. Faith is how you respond even when God doesn't seem real, or things don't seem to make sense. It's how you respond to what the Bible says rather than what your feelings say.

Even if you don't feel like your faith is strong, I encourage you to respond to God, rather than fear. When those anxious thoughts come crashing in, don't lean on your own understanding. Instead, trust God. And the "peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7).

Blessings!

Russell

o-----------------------------------------------
|  Russell Pond     <><
|  Season of Peace
|  email:  ponder@season.org
|  web:    http://www.season.org

© Russell Pond 1999
Reprinted with permission